Why do you care so much?

As mothers, why shouldn't a "war on children" hurt us deeply?

I want to talk about a question I’ve received lately and that is: why do you care so much about what’s happening in Palestine?

I could answer it in a few ways, and I have. One way is, I’ve told people I have a friend who has personally lost nine family members. I know someone whose uncle was shot in the head in front of his family in his home a few weeks ago.

And believe it or not, these answers seem to bring people some relief. Shock yes, but then relief. It’s like knowing that I have some kind of personal connection to this ties it together for them.

But that answer isn’t really the truth. I met this friend very recently. Learning those horrific stories came after the part where I already cared.

So maybe I say something about how our money is funding the weapons being used. Yes, I hate the fact that our government makes us all complicit. But I’m not really angry about money, yet another terrible layer to this hellish plot. (By the way, if you would like Canada to stop doing this, please sign Petition e-4575 ASAP)

Then perhaps, instead, I go the historical route, pointing out the scary similarities between what we’re seeing today and historical events like McCarthyism and outright fascism and wars of past that killed many innocent people… Yes, that does scare me.

But it still isn’t really the reason why I go to sleep each night, and wake up every morning, sick and crying. No, every day it is a single child I dream of.

A small boy, perhaps 4-years-old, placed on a hospital bed, crying quietly. The doctor taking a moment to stroke his cheek and comfort him. For days I looked to see if that hospital was bombed. Because by this time we were accepting that hospitals were being bombed.

Then there was Batoul, eight years old at the time of her unfair death. Sweet and gentle, hugging her bunnies. Her loving aura and joy with animals reminds me so much of my own daughter.

Then there was this little boy and girl, siblings perhaps. Shaking with tremors and covered in blood, the look in their eyes heartbreaking. Still, the older girl leans over to kiss and comfort the little boy. So much love in the heart of children throughout these horrors. I’ll always wonder if they ended up okay, and if so, what that even means after trauma on this scale.

And most recently, there is Sham, or at least every moment I pray she still “is” and not “was.” A beautiful, sweet girl, her voice quivered as she spoke of being separated from her mother. Oh, the choices mothers have to make in Gaza! As the noise overhead increased, she held back tears and she said “I’m scared.”

Only there was no one was there to tell her it would be okay. Because maybe it won’t. I’ll never know. I’ll think of her, and some composite of all the children, every day for the rest of my life.

I care, and I will shout – however unpopular or censored this position becomes – until all these children are free. I will continue to endure the absolute batshit crazy and abusive messages I receive, because I know they are nothing compared to what Palestinians have experienced every day for the last 75 years and 93 days.

I will care, LOUDLY, because of mothers like this:

Mothers who can only see themselves, and the children they personally care about or deem to be supreme.

Mothers who claim to “shake” while turning a blind eye to the literal shaking, of terrorized, traumatized, orphaned, MURDERED Palestinian children (and I say Palestinian instead of Gazan because children are being murdered point blank by IDF in the West Bank, which has no "Hamas”).

Mothers who say “there was a ceasefire on Oct 6th” and ignore the 846 and 297 children from Gaza and West Bank, respectively, who are confirmed killed by the IDF between 2008-2021* – not to mention two additional murders, one boy and one girl, within Israel where they boast about “equal rights” for “all” citizens.

Mothers who delude themselves into thinking there is any reason, at all, in this whole world, to murder over 8,000 children.

I will loudly and unapologetically advocate for ceasefire because I don’t give a shit about what a bunch of selfish, charged up mommy group bullies who scream and yell and don’t have a shred of real empathy left in their soul, have to say.

I don’t care one single fucking iota about who you are, where you come from, what you believe, or ANY of it: If you want me to agree that massacring children in the thousands has a place in our world, well, fuck you. You can call me whatever you want.

But I assure you of this: I weep for your children, too. When I teach my kids about what is happening, I tell them all the children matter. And I mean it.

When we made this poster, it took me HOURS to honour each child, Israeli or Palestinian, with the best shot I could get of each of them. I meticulously cleaned up the lines and made each one look dignified so that ALL of their names, and their stories where we could find them, would be visible:

The end result: 36 Israeli children, their names and stories from Oct 7, at left. At right there are 5 pages of roughly 47 children (though some were group photos up to 7 family members), and 15 pages of size 5 point font showcasing roughly 3,000 Palestinian children’s names, about a third of the total casualties from Oct 7 to today.

When we march at the protests that hurt your feelings, as tens of thousands are actively killed in your name and with your consent, we honour ALL the children caught up in this fucking bullshit.

So no matter what ideas or opinions or hard facts I may have about what led up to Oct 7th, or even what happened on that day, it’s pretty irrelevant to the fact that a lot of innocent people, children, suffered. It’s a tragedy, and it’s a one that I want to see stopped TODAY.

Standing up against this genocide, this massacre of children, is going to be pretty meaningless once that take is mainstream and they’re all dead. It’s been 93 days since this began and the “self defence” has been cruel and ruthless, indiscriminate, merciless – and quite possibly, intentional.

So yes, at the risk of everything except my own humanity, I will not stop advocating to end this unbelievable violence against the Palestinian people. The freedom of Palestinians, of all Jewish people, of you, me and all of our children, is literally – and spiritually – linked. Ceasefire now. Free Palestine. Find your humanity.

Call and email your reps.

It’s a simple gesture to say we’re still holding our politicians accountable. Please call and email your reps as much as you can. I have made a super easy Google Doc of scripts (new ones added frequently) and subject lines, with simple links to key politicians and to find your MP.

Keep boycotting. It’s working.

This is probably the most powerful action we have. Simply refuse to spend your money where it supports genocide. Check out BDS for information but some main brands to avoid are: Disney+, Starbucks, Sabra Hummus, McDonalds.

Attend protests.

Every single protest I have been to has included a Jewish presence (so much respect to those folks, by the way) and ground rules against racism or antisemitism of any kind. I’ve brought my kids to most and it has been a beautiful way to gather with other people who care about peace and liberation.

All the stories you’ve heard about “rampant antisemitism” are downright, shameless lies. The refrain was “Trudeau, Trudeau, you can’t hide, we charge you with genocide” and you fucking know it.

The Palestinian Youth Movement provides information on where and when protests are across Canada and the US, and I recommend finding more local sources for smaller marches and banner drops.

Share on social media.

I know this one is scary for some, but it really makes a huge difference. The more we normalize taking a stance against genocide, the better. I see people out there fighting with their voice and it inspires me to be more brave and more bold.

We know what’s wrong and we know what’s right. We know that what Israel is doing is not right. We know that killing innocent civilians and their babies is wrong. We cannot be bullied into staying silent about that.

Keep learning.

I had someone send me a raging message for advising people to “think critically.” Wonder why that offended her so much? It’s 2024, there are so many resources available to learn more about the history of this conflict. It’s not nearly as complicated as you were led to believe.

I recommend The 100 Years’ War on Palestine if you want a comprehensive understanding of what led up to the Nakba and what has happened in the time since. At the bottom of my previous newsletter there are some links to resources. But really just get online, look stuff up, then fact check it, and look outside of Western media, too (Al Jazeera are good sources).

Last, but not least, be brave.

It’s hard to stand up for what’s right when our politicians are bought and have literally no moral backbone.

It’s hard to stand up for what’s right when our mainstream media is full of cowardly liars, and has been for years and years.

It’s hard to stand up for what’s right when it feels like most people you know are trying to ignore this. You’re not alone in caring.

And it’s hard to stand up for what’s right when women, mothers, allow themselves to be twisted into hateful, vitriolic tools of oppression who project their rage on you for refusing to agree with their violent beliefs.

But do it anyway.

*Note that during this same time period, 2008-2021, two Israeli children were killed by armed Palestinian groups; 23 by Palestinian civilians. This is also abhorrent. Our children always, always end up suffering for our folly.