Pathetic People

A review of Sarah Wynn-Williams tell-all memoir, Careless People

I went to school with the people in this book. I worked with them. Hell, I was even friends with some of them.

Well, not these exact people. But despite their grandiose self assessment, the worst people in Sarah Wynn-William’s tell-all memoir, Careless People, are a basic archetype of a person that exists anywhere that capitalism and neo-Liberal brain rot thrives.

Wynn-Williams is a survivor. Attacked by a shark as a young teen, she had to fight for her life not just in the water, but again in the aftermath when she had to convince her parents to get her to life-saving care after a doctor proactively dismissed any future pain she may feel as dramatic (spoiler: it was septic shock).

Fast forward to adulthood, and she’s made a career of convincing others to buy into a reality she can see far before they’re able to. As a UN alum and diplomacy wonk, she sees F/cebook’s potential for positive change in ways that even their highest level staff cannot yet conceive.

By sheer determination (and a little foreshadowing on the, well, let’s call it humility required to remain employed there), she finagles her way into a job that doesn’t yet exist. Despite steadily climbing the ranks as the need for this new role finally becomes obvious to others, the beginning is probably her highest point.

That is to say, there’s a lot I expected to see in this book. Heck, lots of stuff she details I have personally seen or heard from my friends’ first hand accounts of their workplaces:

Sexism, harassment, and boy’s club nonsense; immense corporate waste (the real secret sauce behind “running government like a business”); clueless leaders high on making people obey nonsense directives, etc.

A woman I once worked with was fired for “underperforming” about a month after her one-year-old baby died.

So yeah, I thought I’d seen it all when it comes to callousness, spinelessness, and watching people convince themselves they’re still good people no matter their conduct. We’re all just following orders, right?

Despite her rank and success record, becoming a mother doesn’t exempt Wynn-Williams from the unreasonable tests that many mothers face upon returning to work. Listening to the impossible feats for which she is set up to fail gave me some clarity about why this happens to so many mothers.

The point is to make you jump through flaming hoops of shit while screaming “Thank you! Yes! This is the most important thing in the world to me. Thank you for reminding me!”

At workplaces like this, you must reinforce that your primary and forever priority is fawning over a higher level management that gathers all of its self worth from pulling rank over, well, you. I once chatted with an employment lawyer who told me those who don’t adequately perform that indignity are her “bread and butter.”¹

But the motherhood penalty, laid bare in its most naked and shameless form – literally under the guidance of the woman who wrote Lean In² – is just one level of this memoir.

What this book adjusted into focus is how formulaic it all is – and how the results can somehow be even crueller than we can imagine. All roads point back to a leadership that is devoid of vision, compassion, empathy, or sense of self outside of a capitalist hierarchy.

So excuse me while I gather my jaw up off the floor after reading about the unethical decisions made at the highest, and utterly conscious, levels. Decisions culminating in a Trump presidency. Twice.

And fucking genocide. Though I can’t speak to how many times this may have been the case, Wynn-Williams covers M/ta’s decision-making around Myanmar in later chapters.

Wynn-Williams was surrounded by people who demonstrated the worst of our human capacity. How, for example, can so many individual people feel utter indifference to the suffering of others on the scale of full blown genocide for which there is clear, direct culpability?

I know, ask that question in 2025 and get a million answers.

Look, I believe Wynn-Williams’ account. And I empathize with her feeling of being trapped. Indeed, she had many, many compelling reasons to stay. But I’m sure she, too, grapples with the one question we all have: Why did she stay so long?

Perhaps none of her reasons are good enough. But can we not all relate to her experience on some level? If there’s ever been a time in your life where you bought into the system, chased misguided goals or felt unworthy, well, if you’re anything like me, then you’ve allowed many careless people into your life.

So the real question, then, is what you do after you wake up. For Wynn-Williams, I believe the answer came in the form of this book. A courageous, whistleblowing account that, thanks to M/ta’s effort to squash it, Wynn-Williams herself can no longer promote.

But, like with so many things these days, the toothpaste is out of the tube. The real question we’re left with is, will it matter enough to impact future decisions around the ugly, malevolent (and shockingly violent) tech that so-called humanity has coming down the pipeline? I sure hope so.

And for their part, M/ta asserts that Wynn-Williams was terminated due to "poor performance and toxic behaviour.” But what would you expect them to say?

How pathetic.

***

Epilogue

58 days ago I got rid of all my social media accounts (excepting, of course, this one – for now). Turfed ‘em, baby. No turning back.

At first it felt like a phantom limb. I was reaching for a phone that didn’t have much to offer. So I’d scroll the photos app… That kind of says it all, doesn’t it?

So, to answer your questions:

• Yes, I am happier. Much.

• No, I don’t actually miss it. Like, at all.

• Yes, I remain informed on world events.

1. She also said most parents who are fired/laid off in this manner don’t seek legal counsel – but should. While it can be hard to prove legally, if you feel you’ve been discriminated against, you probably have. Don’t let em gaslight you, cause they know it too. At the very least, legal advice can help you get a better severance package.

2. By the way, I would simply have died of mortification after this book was published, if I were her. I won’t give away the juice but, hooo boy! Thing is, I have seen women like her and I bet you have, too. That’s the real tell here: Wynn-Williams’ account is so relatable that nothing feels far fetched.